Cereal Journey

Got something different for you this time! it’s the combination of a cereal, and a video game, bet your cant picture that, can you?

Sure I can!

What? No! Why was that even a thing? Anyway that’s not what I meant. What I’m talking about is the game “CHEX QUEST”

Hell yeah! THE 90s!

Chex Quest is a total conversion of the game DOOM that was given away in boxes of Chex cereal. It was actually a pretty successful marketing idea, considering corporate sales had a major increase in the year when they had the promotion. For those who don’t know, a total conversion is when you take a game and change everything except the most basic framework of the game. Though vastly different in terms of art and tone, the gameplay is the same, and the enemies and weapons are reskins of the DOOM originals

MARS BASE! DEMONS! GRRR!

ALTERNATE DIMENSION! SNOT MONSTERS! CHEEEEEEEEEX!

The game itself is actually rather easy for the first two parts that were made during the original run of the promotion. The game was likely meant for kids given the cartoon art used in the game, and the fact that you don’t actually kill anything in the game, the guns you use are actually hand held teleporters used to send the “Flemoids” (yes, they went all out) back to their home dimension. Its all very kid friendly. The third part however was made years later by two members of the original programming team, adding new enemies, environments, and a notably increase in difficulty, making it the most “official“ out of all the fan made endings out there on the internet.

You could probably make a drinking game about all the advertisement in this game

Though easy, technically simple, and jam packed to the brim with adds to Chex, Chex Quest is a nostalgic throw back to classic shooters with secret rooms, colored keys, and levels big enough that you can get lost in. The kind of thing they don’t make anymore, favoring shooters with a more mainstream appeal.

SO REAL

Clearly superior. Ok I’m going to stop now before I get too opinionated.

All three parts of Chex Quest are available at http://www.chucktropolis.com/gamers.htm

Devious subsister

Got something different for you today! It can run on a brick and has the worst graphics out of all the game’s I’ve put on this blog so far! You wont care about the graphics though when you’re trying not to starve or be eaten yourself. I present to you Rogue Survivor!

That's no hobo in the doorway

Rogue Survivor is a roguelike, and for those who don’t know what that is, lets see the wikipedia definition. “The roguelike is a sub-genre of role-playing video games, characterized by level randomization, permanent death, and turn-based movement. Most roguelikes feature ASCII graphics, with newer ones increasingly offering tile-based graphics.” That about sums it up. All of these features are implemented in Rogue Survivor, especially the randomization factor.

The classics weren't much to look at but they were still solid games

The goal of Rogue Survivor is (surprise!) survival. The game takes place during a zombie outbreak and you are given the choice of either being a human or one of the undead. Humans are given a choice of traits to choose from, one at the end of character generation, others after the dawn of each new day they survive. The Undead choice gives you a selection of different zombie types to choose from, such as a full on skeleton whose strong suit is speed, or a far more durable zombie master.

Expect a lot of burning cars

Human characters need food and sleep to stay alive. Food, traps, and weapons can be found. Barricades can be built in doors and window frames to keep the undead out. Rather than being entirely on your own there are a number of other survivors in the city that you can trade with, or convince to follow you, or to kill to take their stuff. If you give them a reason such as breaking into their barricaded shelter or hoarding food they will try to kill you.

The survivors arent your main concern however, obviously

As a roguelike, despite it's tiled graphic looks, the game is deeper than it appears. Depending on how bad/good you are, you don’t need to invest that much time into a single character. Play until you die, and then reincarnate or start again from the beginning. A save/load feature is available so you dont need to play your character out in one sitting. Even if you find nothing particularly substantial about it you should be able to get a couple of hours of enjoyment out of it. If nothing else you should pick up a few ideas for your own zombie attack plan

Look at how prepared this guy is. This could be you!

There are quite a few Roguelikes out there on the internet, but I'll try to space them apart so this doesn't become "ROGUELIKE CENTRAL, ASCII GRAPHICS 24/7"

 Rogue Survivor is available at http://roguesurvivor.blogspot.com/

Double trouble! Two games one update

You’d think a game released in 1985 would be completely burnt out by now, that every self imposed challenge run would be done to death and the game wouldn’t have anything else to offer. You’d be wrong! I got two games for you today

Tiny portal gun included

First up is “Mari0”, a game that takes the original super Mario brothers, and adds portal guns and four player coop gameplay. It also has an awesome trailer.

You cant beat that. All of the portal tricks from Portal itself such as the infinite fall and flinging are made to work within the super Mario brothers engine, allowing you to pull off the tricks within the trailer and keeping the portal gameplay itself from feeling tacked on.

Not pictured: me being so bad at Super Mario I cant beat it even with a portal gun

The next game is something called “Super Mario Brothers Crossover”

Its EXACTLY what it looks like

Like the other game, this game ALSO has an awesome trailer


The gimmick behind this game is that instead of being restricted to playing as Mario, you have an assortment of characters to choose from, all of whom play differently. Its not just gameplay and hitboxes that were changed either, each character gets the soundtrack to their own game played instead of the Super Mario one.

Even in a different game entirely: metal blade still kicks the crap out of everything

Both games are well put together and certainly worth a look if you're looking to kill an hour or more. And if you think about it, if you don’t use the portals at all for Mari0 or just use Mario for Super Mario Crossover, its like you have the original game! So really, its like THREE games in one post!

And that's awesome

Mari0 is available for download at http://stabyourself.net/mari0/
Super Mario Crossover is playable right from your web browser at http://www.explodingrabbit.com/games/super-mario-bros-crossover

Stories Of The Inebriated Holy Warrior

Today I’ve got game for you called “Tales of the Drunken Paladin”! A JRPG filled to the brim with jokes of one sort or another.

Meet our fat, foul mouthed, asthmatic  protagonist

Following Anebriate (who is level 99 at the start of the game), the game begins when he awakens with a hangover from a night of drinking to find that his house (that is full of piles of money) is being foreclosed. On his way to the castle to sort this out, he encounters a mugging, gets knocked out, and then loses his memory (and all his money, awesome equipment, and levels).

And then the game REALLY starts!

Tales of the drunken paladin breaks away from typical JRPGs in a lot of ways, the root of which being that it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. Every item and spell in the game either has a funny name or description IE: “Frenzied Crygasm”, “Celestial Ejaculate”, “Bishop Bitch Up” or an electric spell described as “Anebriate rubs his hands all over some plastic chairs”. Nearly all forms of health restoring items are alcoholic one way or another, and magic power is restored by tears of despair, preferably from children.

Pictured: Full health restoration

The members in your party (which the game describes as sad and little after every fight) includes an odd array of characters such as a misogynistic priest, a wizard that is repeatedly described as having a neck beard, an axe wielding lunatic who has only one volume setting (LOUD), a witch with a full on pointy hat that combines using magic with stabbing things, and a deaf mute that can just barely spell.

and these are just the guys at the start, it only gets crazier from then on

The stat system in this game is surprisingly in-depth. Upon leveling each character receives stats that they can put into anything, more health, or attack power, or critical chance. While characters obviously biased towards certain stats (magic users get more MP, less defense for example), theres nothing stopping you from building your party any way you want. Anebriate in particular is well rounded and can be anything you need him to be.

You will need a solid party to handle what this game throws at you

In short there has been a lot of effort put into this game, from the writing and the jokes to the actual meat and potatoes of the game itself. If you have any interest in JRPGS “Tales of The Drunken Paladin” is definitely worth a look. And hey! Since it’s a download able game, you can stick it in a flash drive and hold onto it after society collapses.

Or you could get a laptop powered by one of these and play it on that

Tales of the Drunken Paladin is available at http://www.drunkenpaladin.com/


The game gets continuous fixes and updates from the developer so if something is glitched, tell him about it so it gets fixed on the next update.