Friday, September 27, 2013


OK, HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION TIME. Fast forward six years or so, you're in the ruins of one of those way-too-big super markets looting the last cans of peas. Suddenly upwards of thirty angry fanatics burst through the front doors. They're REALLY MAD because they want those same peas, and they've been running around for a few weeks trying to find them. They all have guns, knives, and baseball bats with nails in them, and you have like, a pistol (not even a good one either). WHAT. DO YOU. DO? Thankfully you can prepare yourself for that day, courtesy of American taxpayers, with "America's Army: Proving Grounds"
The whole deal with the America's Army games is that "It's like the same stuff the real army uses for training their guys...only its a computer game!" Of course this spawned a whole slew of conspiracy theories that the army was trying to draw in the next generation of soldiers by giving teenagers video games. The big draw of Proving Grounds is that it takes the good stuff from the other America's Army games, and sticks them all in one game, focusing on small unit strategy. They even had a whole simulated medic training course in one of the previous games. That's just crazy.

Proving Grounds is multiplayer capable, so you can get some of your very best friends together over the internet, and find out who can't handle themselves in a fight against computer people, and if they can handle themselves ON THE INTERNET, how can they deal with banditos in real life? Its the best way to figure out who you need to cut from your post apocalyptic fire team.
"The internet scares me! Aaaaaaaaaa!"
If any of that nonsense sounds good to you, or you like rooty-tooty point'n shooties, or you like squad tactics, OR you want to check it out so you can see if theres any brain washing signals in there for your conspiracy website, then you should check out America's Army: Proving Grounds.
You can snag the game on Steam over here

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Bad guys explode when they die and there are spikes all over the place

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE oh wait we're not yelling anymore, ok. So its been too long since I last posted, but I got something to make it up to you. Got TWO somethings actually. Today we got Momodora one and two, so strap in.
It's impolite to stare
If you've ever played Cave Story (IF YOU HAVENT PLAY THAT RIGHT NOW) you'll see the similarities between the games, both in the art work and the game play. The first game is stage based, whereas the second is more open with an exploration based design. Both feature original music, and boss fights.
All these eyeballs
Made by a dude who goes by rdein back in 2010 and 2011 respectively, both games won awards at the time for their release, and there's even a third game in the works, though it might not be out for a while.
Don't like, you know, sit around, is what i'm saying
If you liked Cave Story (YOU SHOULD), or you like platformers, nice sprite artwork, music, then you should like the Momodora games. If you DONT like those things then what is your deal? Do you hate kittens and puppies as well?
You can get Momodora one and two, along with seperate soundtrack downloads here

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

But all you do is YELL



Monday, September 2, 2013

"But all you do is click..."

What I am about to show you might not even be considered a game by some of you, and I'm not so sure myself, but I've been seeing it so often that I've reached the "Why not" threshold, and now YOU get to "benefit" from it. You know whats tasty, and great in moderation? Cookies. You know what you're good at, what you've been doing this entire time without even really thinking about it? Clicking on stuff. What if you could combine those? (and throw moderation out the window because you'll wont be needing it where YOU'RE going) You'd get Cookie Clicker, and that's the...thing for today.
The cause of it all
The point of Cookie Clicker is to make cookies. You open it up in your browser and you make cookies by clicking on the giant cookie, but you can sell those cookies to buy things that give you more cookies over time, basically spending money to get money, if money were delicious and had no real dietary value (These aren't your fancy "nutri-cookies", its old fashioned chocolate chip, get ready to get pretend not real virtual fat).
"Why can't I stop?"
At first that's all there was to the game, but now there's achievements, upgrades, better art, cookie per second tracking, and game saves so you can stop to treat your crippling carpal tunnel before going back in to click the giant cookie some more to feed the endless cycle, eventually leaving you a hollow shell of who you used to be.
"Why couldn't I stop?"
FAIR WARNING: To some this game is pretty addicting, so I just want to tell you to not play this at your job or whatever if you work with computers, this is both the kind of thing you could have going in a browser in the background and the kind of thing some bosses would fire people for, and I don't want to be thought of as the guy who helped get people fired, I'm not gonna be a part of that, so this is me telling you not to do that.
Whoever thought up cookies and milk was a mad genius
If you're willing to risk developing a horrible case of OCD and ruining your mental stability to check this out for the sake of curiosity then you can check out Cookie Clicker here. You were warned.