Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Sword fights, spikes, and guillotines

In every kingdom in fiction ever, the right hand man adviser is always an even back stabbing jerk, without fail. So it should come with no surprise that when today's game has one, of course he's the bad guy you're out to stop. That game is Prince of Persia! No, not that time bending ones, the original.
Look at how evil that beard and mustache is
Originally coming out in 1989, and being made by one dude, Jordan Mechner (who with a name like that may very well be a robot) in college , Prince of Persia wasnt a big success at first, not that you would think that given that its still chugging along years later, and even got a relatively decent movie. Only when Prince of Persia was released in Europe and Japan the next year was when it really took off. It was ported over to more than twenty platforms over the years so Mechner clearly knew what he was doing
Disney why
At first Prince of Persia just looks like a platformer, what helped it stand apart at the time of its release was it's rotoscoped animation inspired by the movies The Adventures of Robin Hood" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and its sword fighting as most other games at the time used projectiles instead because it was easier. Another key feature in Prince of Persia is the built in time limit, you have one hour to get in, save the princess and beat Jaffar into the floor for being a dick. Are you fast enough? Only one way to find out.
KNEES TO CHEST, PUMP THOSE LEGS
The original Prince of Persia is a favorite of many even years later, so if any of the above draws you in at all, or if you like traps and sword fighting in general, or if you want to play this to remind yourself that when YOU run things to never have an adviser to avoid a "power behind the throne" situation, then this game might be for you!
"Meet me later in that shadowy alley by murder street, bring all you're money. You trust me right?"
You can get Prince of Persia from a lot of places, like here

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Get yo bow and go innawoods

You know what some people love? Camping. Nature. The great outdoors in general. You know what a lot of people hate? Camping. Nature. The great outdoors in general. If only there was way for people who love camping to do it way more often. If only there was a way for people who hate camping to go camping with actually...camping. OH WAY, THERE TOTALLY IS, ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE!
Celebrate inside, where there's electricity
The game today is UnReal World RPG, and the best way I can describe it is by taking a blurb straight from the website its from. " UnReal World is a unique low-fantasy roguelike game set in the far north during the late Iron-Age. The world of the game is highly realistic, rich with historical atmosphere and emphasized on survival in the harsh ancient wilderness." So yeah, camping without leaving your heated/air conditioned house. Like all roguelikes what it lacks in graphics it makes up for in mechanics and general depth to the game, such as the various tribes with their different advantages and disadvantages, the number of skills to train in, the rituals to find, and the various "classes". Between all that and the world randomization you could play for a very long time without ever having to play the same way twice, one of the biggest draws of roguelikes.
You'll never get bored of the different ways you can get your ass kicked!
They arent joking when they say this game is about survival, as everything is out to kill you, from the wildlife to the environment. Not only are there wolves and bears out there but deer can kick your ass as well if you drop the ball. That isnt even getting into the hunger and thirst systems, so have fun eating the clothes off your back because you cant chase down squirrels, and then immediately getting frost bite because its winter and you have no clothing.
you need the right skills to make bacon yourself
Originally UnReal World RPG was something you'd have to pay for, but some time ago the developer for it just decided to run off of a donation based format, so if you REALLY like this game and want to give back, you totally can. If you like nature but cant hang out in the woods like a crazed hermit in real life, or if you hate nature and want to play the game to tell yourself "look at all the ways I can die out here, there isnt even any video games", or if you want a game to play in your doomsday bunker to remind yourself the surface wasnt a blasted hellscape populated by mutants and cannibal hipsters, then UnReal World RPG might be for you!
"Haha, no, I'm not going back out there"
You can get UnReal World RPG here

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

YOU NO MESS WITH LO-WANG

I'm just gonna say (type) some words and see if anything resonates with you: Duke Nukem, dual wielding uzis, Big Trouble in Little China, offensive jokes, kung fu movie REVENGE, hearts you crush in your hand, suicide bombers that turn into angry ghosts, giant snake men, rocket launchers with nuclear warheads. Do I have your attention? Good. Today's game is called Shadow Warrior, and all that stuff above only scratches the surface.
You know you want it
Shadow Warrior is a first person shooter by 3-D Realms, of Duke Nukem fame, in which you play Lo-Wang, the titular SHADOW WARRIOR (but he's not nearly sneaky enough to be called a ninja though, he does carry a grenade launcher around after all). As a first person shooter you spend most of your time shooting up the place naturally, though you also have two separate melee options, lightning fast machine gun punches, and a sword so sharp it can cut through armor, and still cut a tomato.
Thats a fireball shooting head all right
Theres a lot to Shadow Warrior, not the least of which is the humor, which ranges from racist and misogynistic jokes, to jabs toward other video game franchises, direct insults toward American manufacturing, and even a nod to Monty Python if you can find it. Speaking of finding things, Shadow Warrior has plenty of secrets in each level for you to find, how much of which are listed at the end of every level to tell you how terrible at the game you are. Speaking of you being terrible at the game, there is also completion times recorded by the developers at 3-D realms also listed at the end of the levels, so you can see how abusrdedly fast the game can be beaten if you know where everything is and you know exactly what to do.
PAR TIME IS FOUR MINUTES THE RECORD IS ONE MINUTE EIGHT SECONDS GO GO GO
So if any of that sounds good to you, or maybe you like bad Asian flavored 80s action movies, fortune cookies, explosions, and punching bees, then Shadow Warrior might be for you.
He messed with Lo Wang
You can get Shadow Warrior off of steam here

Monday, June 3, 2013

Dirty Buisness

The name of the game today is Sub Rosa, which for those of you who aren't language nerds means "under the rose", and its all about sneakiness, and that's exactly what we're getting into. Sub Rosa is a game about shadowy back alley deals, car chases, and deadly shoot outs.

Sub Rosa is a game that was made for the seven day FPS jam, it's still in development and as of me writing this down, it's still in version 0.07, so obviously you should know going in that its going to be rough around the edges. Still, whats there already looks pretty good, there are only three different guns but the shooting mechanics are pretty much nailed down, since you have to account for bullet drop, and the bullets actually come out of the gun instead of the center of your vision, so you need to compensate your aim in response.
"The bricks of money are secure"
There are two game modes, one where two teams need to organize a trade of cash for a disk while another is out to steal both, and kill them all. The other game mode is a free for all where all three teams are trying to steal the disk from a heavily armed CPU controlled team.
The tires make cartoony burn out sounds when you make a tight corner, and that's awesome
If any of this sounds good to you, or maybe you like the street shoot out from Heat a little too much then Sub Rosa is probably right up your alley. I have to say though that playing with friends is always more enjoyable than jumping on solo, just a reminder.
TEAMWORK
You can get the latest version of Sub Rosa here