YOU NO MESS WITH LO-WANG

I'm just gonna say (type) some words and see if anything resonates with you: Duke Nukem, dual wielding uzis, Big Trouble in Little China, offensive jokes, kung fu movie REVENGE, hearts you crush in your hand, suicide bombers that turn into angry ghosts, giant snake men, rocket launchers with nuclear warheads. Do I have your attention? Good. Today's game is called Shadow Warrior, and all that stuff above only scratches the surface.

You know you want it

Shadow Warrior is a first person shooter by 3-D Realms, of Duke Nukem fame, in which you play Lo-Wang, the titular SHADOW WARRIOR (but he's not nearly sneaky enough to be called a ninja though, he does carry a grenade launcher around after all). As a first person shooter you spend most of your time shooting up the place naturally, though you also have two separate melee options, lightning fast machine gun punches, and a sword so sharp it can cut through armor, and still cut a tomato.

Thats a fireball shooting head all right

Theres a lot to Shadow Warrior, not the least of which is the humor, which ranges from racist and misogynistic jokes, to jabs toward other video game franchises, direct insults toward American manufacturing, and even a nod to Monty Python if you can find it. Speaking of finding things, Shadow Warrior has plenty of secrets in each level for you to find, how much of which are listed at the end of every level to tell you how terrible at the game you are. Speaking of you being terrible at the game, there is also completion times recorded by the developers at 3-D realms also listed at the end of the levels, so you can see how abusrdedly fast the game can be beaten if you know where everything is and you know exactly what to do.

PAR TIME IS FOUR MINUTES THE RECORD IS ONE MINUTE EIGHT SECONDS GO GO GO

So if any of that sounds good to you, or maybe you like bad Asian flavored 80s action movies, fortune cookies, explosions, and punching bees, then Shadow Warrior might be for you.

He messed with Lo Wang

You can get Shadow Warrior off of steam here