Thursday, May 23, 2013

Hopefully future space wars wont be fought this way

Think about every movie you've seen with dog-fighting in it. No, not the animal abuse kind, the planes kind. There were always wing-men, so it was almost never one guy verses a thousand other planes. But the guys in charge of arcade machines said "Screw that, make it one guy verses infinity dudes, and put it in space.", and so began the consumption of millions of quarters. Fast forward decades later, after the death of arcades as a sustainable business model outside of Japan (if you have sad music play it now), and now you dont need quarters to play those games.
old man not included
Long story short, twelve arcade "space shooter" games have been made available online to play free from your browser, including R-Type and Space Invaders. If you like high scores, space ships, power ups, and blowing up incredibly fragile alien spaceships with an incredibly fragile spaceship of your own, then you should love this.
"One of them looked at me funny! I'M GOING IN HARD!"
You can play all those games here

Monday, May 20, 2013

Rule your domain with an iron fist and high rent

Hey! You ever want to be in total control of a major building? From construction, interior design, to who you let in? Well you can't be Donald Trump, but you CAN play this game! It's called SIM Tower, and it will probably let you live out your sick, frightening, power fantasies.
It all seems so innocent at the start
SIM Tower is just that, another addition to the SIM series, but instead of building a vast city, or controlling and torturing a small number of people, you're in charge of the daily business of a skyscraper. Starting from scratch on ground level, you can build up to eighty levels straight into the sky, and straight down into the ground. You have full control over what goes where, how far up the elevators go, and how much is rent. You could be a benevolent landlord and build your tower in a sensible way, or you could demand and arm and a leg from your tenants, and have no elevators at all to purge the weak, old, and sickly from your domain.
So, if you're working off stress from work and want to mess with people who cant fight back, practicing designing your own REAL LIFE sky scraper (you internet architect, you), or you're thinking about how you're going to design your underground doomsday bunker and are planning on flipping your completed tower upside down and using that, SIM Tower might be what you're looking for.
"I accept rent in food, water, and ammo"
You can get SIM Tower here

Monday, May 13, 2013

Punch that guy to death, then watch two swords and a bunch of cash explode out of his body.

Ok so, you've been framed for crimes you did not commit, and you were found guilty. Next thing you know you're kicked out of the country and left to rot on some gross, zombie ridden beach on a forbidden continent. Given that forming the A-Team is out of the question, what do you do? If your answer is "Kill stuff until you find out who is responsible, then kill him" then do I have a game for YOU. It's called Path of Exile and I think it's right up your alley.
Watch out the floor is becoming lava!
 Path of Exile is an action RPG made by Grinding Gear Games, other notable examples of the genre being the Diablo series, Bastion, and Torchlight, so if you played any of those then you know what you're getting yourself into: lots of loot, lots of monsters, and lots of clicking. What makes Path of Exile stand out from the rest of the pack is the crazy amount of customization. The skill tree is less "tree" and more "Spiderweb on LSD", it goes all over the place, that along side the skill gem system and six different classes lets you build your character pretty much any way you want.
You have fun with that
 Of course, now we get to the most important part of this post
Taking a look at how the game's multiplayer works (PVP, ladder races), it seems that there is no "pay to win" option, so good on Grinding Gears, what they DO try to get you to buy are either cosmetic things, such as pets, custom colors and effects for spells and items, and even special animations for your character, or things tied to your account, such as extra character slots, or a bigger shared item stash. Nothing that makes the game easier, so you could play this and never give Grinding Gears a red cent.
These four dollars are all I have left YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM FROM ME
If you like ARPGs, clicking, crazy over powered named monsters (quickened, lighting enhanced, poison, fire aura, strengthened), loot, then Path of Exile might be for you. If you got friends who want in on it, thats even better as playing solo does not compare to playing with others. If you want a challenge then Path of Exile provides both Cut Throat mode (everyone fend for yourself PVP mode) and hardcore mode.
Hardcore mode is the only mode you should use
  If any of this sounds ok to you, then you can snag Path of Exile here

Thursday, May 9, 2013


I have no idea how to properly introduce the game for today's update. I mean I COULD just sum it up in one to three sentences as im certain most of you have heard of it before, but that wouldn't do it justice at all. I COULD probable type up a thirty page report on it, but I'm far too lazy for that and I'm certain you don't want to fight your way through an essay.So I'm gonna do what I usually do and hope for the best! The game today is Dwarf Fortress!
Behold, a glorious mountain!
You could call Dwarf (DORF) Fortress a lot of things: Roguelike, God game, City Builder game, adventure game. Frankly, you could do all most ANYTHING. First thing that happens when playing is that a world is made. This isnt some nambly pambly preset map made up of cookie cutter set pieces, this world is procedurally generated from the ground up. Continents, oceans, kingdoms, cities, people, and even individual animals. Then you get a group of dwarves, some equipment, and you strike it out on your own in the wilderness. A wilderness that could be a savanna, a tundra, a forest, or a desert. Which could be populated by monkeys, the craven undead, elves, or all of those combined, or worse.
Sure it looks nice but you cant see the vampires
Then there's Adventure mode, which plays like a typical Roguelike game where the player creates an adventurer, and sets out into the world to either die horribly, or become famous, powerful and retire somewhere, maybe even a fortress you start in that generated world. There is no in between, just as in fortress mode everything you build will eventually be torn down in one way or another, its inevitable.
This will be you
Lastly there's a Legends mode, which lets you read into the history of the generated world. See the civilizations rise and fall, glorious commanders come into power. Its a neat little feature, though it has no real gameplay in and of itself.
"and in the year 457, all the Goblins got up and kicked the crap out of this one guy"
Dwarf Fortress was made by, and is still being developed and worked on by two brothers, Tarn and Zach Adams. Originally coming out in August of 2006, they keep adding more and more to the game. Make no mistake Dwarf Fortress is as hard as they come, with a learning curve that's littered with the broken bodies of those that came before you. You could try it and want to go back in time to stop it from being developed after five minutes of playing it. Or you might think its the best game ever. In either case, there are plenty of beginner guides out there on the internet, so you're not entirely on your own.
They couldn't handle it
You can get Dwarf  Fortress here. Remember, losing is fun!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I'll Banner your Saga

You ever want to be a viking? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Burning coastal villages to the ground after rolling up with one hundred of your best friends in boats that have dragons carved into the prow. Taking heads by the dozen then going home with a boat fill of stolen booty to eat meat and get drunk. Whats not to love? Unfortunately it's the future so that's not an option anymore because of things like "Guns" and "Coast Guards". Truly, things have only gotten worse as time as progressed. Thankfully, you can live out your viking fantasies without having to risk death or imprisonment, and its with today's game! It's called Banner Saga: Factions.
It was a simpler time
You may remember awhile ago, back when the kickstarter craze was really getting going, one of the games that popped up was The Banner Saga. Made by some dudes who fled Bioware when the fleeing was good and banded together under the name Stoic, the game as promised was a turn based strategic game with some sick art and classic animation. People were clearly buying what they were selling because it made seven times its initial goal. That isnt out yet, what IS out is a free to play multiplayer game, that looks to not only be a fun game in and of itself but also a test bed for balancing the main game that has yet to come out. It even has a tournament function.
However, the game IS Free to Play so now we get into the most important part of this postHOW THEY TRY TO GET YOU
You buy things in game with renown. You get renown through playing the game, obviously you get more if you won than if you lost. Some of the stuff you buy with renown are cosmetic colors to make your units visually distinct, more units to get some variety for troop line up, and class upgrades. Does this reach PAY TO WIN levels? Since the game presumably lines you up against players with a matching level of strength, it shouldnt matter. But of course thats just my personal view on things, obviously your mileage may vary.
He probably has trouble getting through doors
SO. If your soul hungers to please Odin on the field of battle but you dont want to personally place yourself in harms way, or you dont want to get arrested, you could always play Banner Saga: Factions, it's got strategic gameplay, some fantastic art and animation, and if any of that stuff sounds good to you, then you should go for it. If nothing else its good practice incase all technology fails and we regress back into communities of farmers and fisherman and groups of raiders who burn stuff down.
One day that golden age shall come again
You can get Banner Saga: Factions off of steam, here