YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

So there's a Might and Magic game out on Steam, you know Might and Magic, right? No, not the first person kicking game where you kick everyone and everything in the game and it may as well have been called THE KICKENING, no. One about the actual card game, so thats cool.

This isnt the right game is it?

You may be wondering how a card game can be playable on the magic box known as your computer, and over the spider's nest of pornography called the internet. Why, it easy! You dont even need to hold you cards and worry about dropping them because of your butterfingers and letting the other guy see what you got. The places on the table where the cards go are also marked so you dont need to worry about having someones OCD flare up over the exact placement of everyone's things.

Neither is this

And now we get to HOW THEY GET YOU. You can buy booster packs of cards both on Steam, and from an in game store. Sure you can earn cards by playing the game, earning achievements and the like, but that's obviously the more time consuming path to make the cash money not-free big bucks alternative that much more inciting. If you aren't turned off by blatant temptation then you should be good.

Remember that Nigerian prince?

Like card games (that aren't on motorcycles?), do you like Might and Magic in the real world and want to try it on the computer? Then Might and Magic: Duel of Champions MIGHT (and Magic) be for you.

HEH

 You can get it on Steam here

Ten billion players: only ONE map

Time to tell you about a video game genre that's so stupid and convoluted that no one can even agree on what to call it. DOTA-like? Multiplayer Online Battle Arena? Action Real Time Strategy? Aeon of Strife Styled Fortress Assault Game Going On Two Sides? People argue endlessly over the name of the genre, and that's before we even get into the games themselves or the legal mess surrounding the original game this mess sprouted from, proving that they're played by the some of the worst people on the internet.

"Wow, never even heard of some of these curses before"

 How the genre works is that on the games one map there are two bases, each with a team of guys and their goal is to smash up the big fancy thing at the opposing base while not letting the other guys take out theirs. Each side has computer controlled armies that move toward the other side in regular waves, usually the first step in the game is to follow these dudes and NOT fight beside them, but instead hide behind them and  jump out only to get the last blow on the guys from the other side as that's how you get money to buy items. Eventually you become tough enough to fight the other team, and past that you'll level up enough to storm their base, break all their shit, and win.

"Whats all the fuss about?"

 For each game in this genre there are some differences but that's the gist of it. You might read that and go "Well that's not so bad". YES, IT IS THAT BAD. I wasn't joking about these games being played by the worst people. Between people with languages you don't understand making you incapable of working with them, people flying into a frothing rage at the slightest opportunity, or those same people bragging about their great skill at commanding one unit in a RTS game. For other multiplayer games I've said that playing with friends is fun, implying that the game is less enjoyable but still playable with strangers. This is not the case here. Playing with friends is MANDATORY for having a good time while playing these games, everyone else out there will let you down or scream at you for reasons you cant really understand.

You might not understand Spanish or Russian, but you'll know smug superiority when you see it

 These games aren't going away, too many E-celebrities doing commentary on matches, and with Valve throwing their fat sacks of  cash into the ring the tournaments are going to have even bigger cash prizes. Oh yes, there are tournaments. You dont know depression until you've seen someone win over two hundred grand by pressing "R" at the right time.

"Could that be me? Dare I try?" (no, and you shouldn't)

If for some reason any of that sounds appealing to you, theres DOZENS of flavors for you to try!
Like this one, or this one, this, this one for mythological fans, or this one!

Punch that guy to death, then watch two swords and a bunch of cash explode out of his body.

Ok so, you've been framed for crimes you did not commit, and you were found guilty. Next thing you know you're kicked out of the country and left to rot on some gross, zombie ridden beach on a forbidden continent. Given that forming the A-Team is out of the question, what do you do? If your answer is "Kill stuff until you find out who is responsible, then kill him" then do I have a game for YOU. It's called Path of Exile and I think it's right up your alley.

Watch out the floor is becoming lava!

 Path of Exile is an action RPG made by Grinding Gear Games, other notable examples of the genre being the Diablo series, Bastion, and Torchlight, so if you played any of those then you know what you're getting yourself into: lots of loot, lots of monsters, and lots of clicking. What makes Path of Exile stand out from the rest of the pack is the crazy amount of customization. The skill tree is less "tree" and more "Spiderweb on LSD", it goes all over the place, that along side the skill gem system and six different classes lets you build your character pretty much any way you want.

You have fun with that

 Of course, now we get to the most important part of this post
HOW THEY TRY TO GET YOU
Taking a look at how the game's multiplayer works (PVP, ladder races), it seems that there is no "pay to win" option, so good on Grinding Gears, what they DO try to get you to buy are either cosmetic things, such as pets, custom colors and effects for spells and items, and even special animations for your character, or things tied to your account, such as extra character slots, or a bigger shared item stash. Nothing that makes the game easier, so you could play this and never give Grinding Gears a red cent.

These four dollars are all I have left YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM FROM ME

If you like ARPGs, clicking, crazy over powered named monsters (quickened, lighting enhanced, poison, fire aura, strengthened), loot, then Path of Exile might be for you. If you got friends who want in on it, thats even better as playing solo does not compare to playing with others. If you want a challenge then Path of Exile provides both Cut Throat mode (everyone fend for yourself PVP mode) and hardcore mode.

Hardcore mode is the only mode you should use

  If any of this sounds ok to you, then you can snag Path of Exile here

I'll Banner your Saga

You ever want to be a viking? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Burning coastal villages to the ground after rolling up with one hundred of your best friends in boats that have dragons carved into the prow. Taking heads by the dozen then going home with a boat fill of stolen booty to eat meat and get drunk. Whats not to love? Unfortunately it's the future so that's not an option anymore because of things like "Guns" and "Coast Guards". Truly, things have only gotten worse as time as progressed. Thankfully, you can live out your viking fantasies without having to risk death or imprisonment, and its with today's game! It's called Banner Saga: Factions.

It was a simpler time

You may remember awhile ago, back when the kickstarter craze was really getting going, one of the games that popped up was The Banner Saga. Made by some dudes who fled Bioware when the fleeing was good and banded together under the name Stoic, the game as promised was a turn based strategic game with some sick art and classic animation. People were clearly buying what they were selling because it made seven times its initial goal. That isnt out yet, what IS out is a free to play multiplayer game, that looks to not only be a fun game in and of itself but also a test bed for balancing the main game that has yet to come out. It even has a tournament function.

BAR FIGHT

However, the game IS Free to Play so now we get into the most important part of this postHOW THEY TRY TO GET YOU
You buy things in game with renown. You get renown through playing the game, obviously you get more if you won than if you lost. Some of the stuff you buy with renown are cosmetic colors to make your units visually distinct, more units to get some variety for troop line up, and class upgrades. Does this reach PAY TO WIN levels? Since the game presumably lines you up against players with a matching level of strength, it shouldnt matter. But of course thats just my personal view on things, obviously your mileage may vary.

He probably has trouble getting through doors

SO. If your soul hungers to please Odin on the field of battle but you dont want to personally place yourself in harms way, or you dont want to get arrested, you could always play Banner Saga: Factions, it's got strategic gameplay, some fantastic art and animation, and if any of that stuff sounds good to you, then you should go for it. If nothing else its good practice incase all technology fails and we regress back into communities of farmers and fisherman and groups of raiders who burn stuff down.

One day that golden age shall come again

You can get Banner Saga: Factions off of steam, here

I have no idea why the series is called "Quake"

Switching gears, here we’ve got a game that doesn’t have any puzzles at all (unless you count “how do I kill this guy before he kills me?” as a puzzle) but to be fair it is a kind of point and click. I’m talking about Quake Live, a first person shooter. Released in the summer of 2010, Quake Live is a free (obviously) version of Quake 3 and the Team Arena expansion pack that runs out of your internet browser.

Now with 100% more live Quakes

While Quake Live uses a slightly updated version of Quake 3 with some fancy new graphical stuff added like bloom (gotta have that bloom), its still mostly the Quake 3 released back in later 1999, so most computers should be able to run it, especially since you can turn down the graphics to the bare minimum if you wish. Not only does Quake Live have the original, basic game modes from Quake 3, such as Duel, Free For All, and Team Deathmatch, it also has some new stuff like Red Rover or Freeze Tag. The same speedy gameplay is there as well, with rocket and strafe jumping and all of the other movement based tricks in the engine meant to deepen the gameplay and to give you an edge over the other guy.

Standard FPS convetions apply, but thankfully Quake Live seems more interesting than THIS

Quake Live is all about competitive multiplayer, having a ranking system that allows you to play against people with the same skill level, game modes specifically for “pro” level players, and even multiple tournaments where people compete for those big stupid looking novelty checks. If you’re into that sort of thing you could get sucked into Quake Live for a long time, given how many game modes there are and the fact that there are over fifty different arenas to play in. 

Sure it sounds good so far but here's where we get to the ugly part of the post
HOW THEY TRY TO GET YOUR MONEY
Quake Live is Free to Play, it brings in cash through two sources. The first is in game advertising that plays before matches but also exists in the form of in game billboards. The second is a premium membership system with two tiers, “premium” and a more expensive “pro” level. These paid memberships allow access to yet another fifty more exclusive arenas to play in, more game modes (including the aforementioned Freeze Tag), the ability to bypass the ads that play before matches, the ability to make your own matches, and the ability to invite 5 standard players to play on premium content.

Not as bad as this, thankfully

Still, if you are willing to look past that, and are a fan of fast paced arena shooters, Quake Live might be what you’re looking for.

Seems legit

You can get Quake Live from here

Its like NASCAR but you turn both left AND right

Do you want to go fast but don’t want to play a sci-fi FPS? I can help you with that. Today I’ve got a racing game for you that has some crazy god damn tracks in it. That game is Trackmania: Nations Forever.

Pedal to the metal

Featuring both a multiplayer mode (with the neat bonus of displaying what country the other racers are from, so you can lament and rage whenever you are beaten by someone from a country you particularly hate) and a solo mode, the game offers a completely absurd amount of courses to race around in that get progressively more insane.

And that’s before you even get into the potential of player designed courses. That’s when things get really crazy. When you shift past the “38 loops in a row” type courses that exist in every game that has a level editor, theres some good stuff in there. Like the “hold forward” maps where the course as been made in such a way where you don’t need to worry about turning and you can just watch the show of your car making absurd jumps and loops.

The game can easily be enjoyed in solo mode if you like racing games, but like with anything, its better with friends. Its possible to set up your own dedicated server for your friends to pile into and play together, preferably while yelling angrily at each other over who’s the best, like real friends should.

YOU THINK YOU'RE FAST? FUCK YOU I'M THE FASTEST! Lets do this again next week

However, since a good part of the game relies on multiplayer/user created maps, its not a good idea to install it on that computer you have in your underground survival bunker, unless you plan on having enough computers and people in there for a full on Lan Party. If you DON’T have a survival bunker you can use the game to learn the driving skills you will need the in wastelands.

VIDEO GAMES DONT FAIL ME NOW

If you think Trackmania is for you, than you can grab it here

http://trackmaniaforever.com/

or on Steam if you feel like it

http://store.steampowered.com/app/11020/?snr=1_7_suggest__13

CHURROS

Got another Free-To-Play game that recently got out of beta today. A third person shooter fashioned that plays like one of those DOTA/MOBA/Action RTS games. (whatever the hell they’re calling themselves these days) It’s a bundle of glorified violence called “Super Monday Night Combat”

Kind of like the NFL, but with clones, robots, explosives, and even more ads

Before SUPER Monday Night Combat there was just regular Monday Night Combat, a game (that wasn’t free) that was faster and more twitch based, it was often compared to Team Fortress 2. Aside from the usual class based shooter game play it was also a sort of tower defense game in that defensive towers could be built and waves of robots would spawn for each team and attack the other team’s side of the map on preset paths.

The robots in game are significantly less threatening, getting killed by them is actually kind of embarrassing

The Super version of the game fits with the conservative play style of MOBA games, IE: “DON’T DIE. EVER. YOU FILTHY CASUAL.”, and generally you need to be careful, as too many screw ups on either team can snowball and turn the whole match against you. The standard level up structure of MOBA games is used in SMNC, where you have skills you can level up or you could pump points into your health and damage. Towers cant be rebuilt like in the original, so defending your own and destroying the other team’s is a big deal.

"CASUAL SCUM, GO BACK TO YOUR FACEBOOK GAMES"

The classes for SMNC, though not entirely balanced, all have their roles and are capable of holding their own. The new characters added to SMNC outshine the older classes that came over from the original game in style, if not game play. From the famous wrestler who was brought back from the dead, to the talking actor gorilla who’s dressed like a mobster, to a robot who’s trying his best to convince everyone he’s human. The game has a rotating group of characters available that anyone can try, unfortunately this leads into the important public service announcement part of this post.

They're always out for your money

HOW THEY GET YOU
Unless you buy a character, you can only play them when their available on the rotating roster. There’s actually quite a few things in this game that you need to buy if you want to get it. Products and Endorsements are ways you can customize your character through stat changes or useful effects such as getting health when you kill an opponent. Fortunately, the default products you start off with are pretty useful, and when you don’t use any Endorsements you get a decent speed boost instead. All of these can be bought with credits earned by playing the game, though you could use money for it. Cosmetic items such as new uniforms requires actual money though, but those obviously don’t effect game play. You don’t NEED to spend any actually money, everything you could want that has an impact on game play can be earned by just playing the game.

The in-game announcers are the best part about this game, not gonna lie

Super Monday Nigh Combat (SUPER!) is worth looking into if you like MOBAs or third person shooters, and it has a group match making system so you and your friends can play online against people who are WAY better than you! Not only that, but between the jokes about population control, rioting in the stands, and bad television shows, it will also help prepare you for a dystopian future where corporations run everything.

Bet you didnt think this movie was a training film at the time, did you?

You can learn more about SNMC over at http://www.uberent.com/
and you can snag the game on steam at http://store.steampowered.com/app/104700/

GOTTA GO FAST

Today I got a game that just got out of beta and is open to public. Its an arena shooter and its all about going fast. It will also help prepare you for the sci-fi wars of the future.

Its your basic Red verses Blue

Tribes Ascend is the latest game in the Tribes series, which always had game play that was based heavily around team work and momentum, especially for Capture The Flag. You’re basically going skiing with a gun and a jet pack, but its not an awesome future biathlon.

Or a James Bond movie

The older games are considered by many to be among the best multiplayer shooters of their time, and had dedicated fan bases that stuck around for years.

The same main game design points carry over into Ascend. The maps have next to no cover so the best way to stay alive is to go fast and bob and weave, since the shooting is mostly based around  leading your target, aside from a few “hitscan” weapons that don’t need to be lead (which are considered cheap by some of the player base). 

Not an example of good Tribes game play, he clearly needs more speed

There are three different weight classes that generally determine what sort of role you will play as. The light armored players go fast and are typically the ones trying to capture the flag but also have less health than other weight classes. The medium armored  players are obviously the middle of the road in terms of speed and health. While the heavies are the slowest and the hardest to kill, and typically stick to base defense, they don’t have to though.

The game uses a class system that dictates your weapon load out and weight class, rather than letting you choose whatever you want. There is a kind of perk system that you can choose for yourself. However, this leads into the most important part of this post.

HOW THEY GET YOU
Tribes Ascend uses the Free-To-Play model where you start with default classes and gear but you need to unlock the rest. Thankfully, you don’t need to spend money to buy things, you can earn everything you need through game play, nor does Ascend enter Pay-To-Win territory. Obviously this involves some element of grinding, but it never hits “Korean MMO” level. And if you actually find the game enjoyable enough to play consistently it should be that much of an issue

VGS

Tribes Ascend could be a game you pick up for one game then forget about entirely, or you could get sucked in and get turned into a massive fan that sticks around for years. Really the only way to find out yourself is to give the game a shot, but watching some game play wouldn’t hurt either.

The proper video starts after about two minutes of nonsense. This video is also a good example of how Tribes falls under the category of "E-Sports", complete with commentators.

Tribes Ascend is available for download at https://account.hirezstudios.com/tribesascend/
You need an account though.

Region of the Mentally Unstable Deity

Up next we’ve got a neat little browser MMO called “REALM OF THE MAD GOD”, wherein you stomp around the titular realm of the Mad God and you proceed to SHOOT THE HELL OUT OF EVERYTHING. Good practice for when mutants eventually overrun the earth.

Soon

The game works from a top down perspective that’s follows your 2D pixilated adventurer as you roam about shooting things. Basic RPG and MMO standards apply, HP, MP, EXP, all the alphabet soup abbreviations are there.

As are the typical names people use in MMOs

You’ve got a small inventory that’s supplemented with a permanent storage vault in the game’s city. The games gimmick is that perma-death is always on, and that’s its built around going through multiple characters. The idea is that you find awesome stuff that you cant use for your current character, so you go back and stick it in the Vault.

Later when I'm a ninja I'm totally gonna be kick ass you guys

 You take a class, level it up to a certain point, and then a new class is available. HOWEVER: only one character slot is available. Want to try out that new class you unlocked? You better find the nearest angry mob of gnomes and start looking for hugs.

Really BAD practice for when mutants overrun the earth

 Like all multiplayer games, and MMOs in particular, its far better when played with friends, roaming around shooting things (its basically “Bullet Hell, the MMO”) and theres even a spell that allows you to teleport to another player, no matter how far away they are, for free, and it only has a ten second cool down.

HOW THEY GET YOU: The game might be free, but theres things in the game that cost real money. The game uses two different currencies for different things. Fame is what you get when one of your characters die, and the other is gold which you get for real money, both of which are used for a number of things, but it’s the gold that gets you the good stuff. Like most Free-to-play MMOs, you don’t NEED to buy things with real life money to enjoy the game, but they certainly help, and one of the big things that the gold gets you is another character slot, which would allow you to keep unlocking classes without having to kill off that character. Get particularly attached to your wizard because you killed some of the games big bosses with it? Either slap down five bucks to keep it while you try out other stuff, suck it up and run head first into some zombie wizards, or just stop unlocking classes entirely.

They give you one hundred for free when you start though, which is nice

That aside, REALM OF THE MAD GOD is still a fun little browser MMO, and its fully possible to you just drop in and play it, no registration needed (thought that probably allows you to name your character, I was stuck with Risrr as a default) I recommend getting some friends together and killing some time by shooting monsters.

R.I.P Risrr, you were taken too soon

Realm of the Mad God is available for free at http://www.realmofthemadgod.com/
Or you could play it on steam, if you're into that http://store.steampowered.com/app/200210/
(page includes trailer)