Ten billion players: only ONE map

Time to tell you about a video game genre that's so stupid and convoluted that no one can even agree on what to call it. DOTA-like? Multiplayer Online Battle Arena? Action Real Time Strategy? Aeon of Strife Styled Fortress Assault Game Going On Two Sides? People argue endlessly over the name of the genre, and that's before we even get into the games themselves or the legal mess surrounding the original game this mess sprouted from, proving that they're played by the some of the worst people on the internet.

"Wow, never even heard of some of these curses before"

 How the genre works is that on the games one map there are two bases, each with a team of guys and their goal is to smash up the big fancy thing at the opposing base while not letting the other guys take out theirs. Each side has computer controlled armies that move toward the other side in regular waves, usually the first step in the game is to follow these dudes and NOT fight beside them, but instead hide behind them and  jump out only to get the last blow on the guys from the other side as that's how you get money to buy items. Eventually you become tough enough to fight the other team, and past that you'll level up enough to storm their base, break all their shit, and win.

"Whats all the fuss about?"

 For each game in this genre there are some differences but that's the gist of it. You might read that and go "Well that's not so bad". YES, IT IS THAT BAD. I wasn't joking about these games being played by the worst people. Between people with languages you don't understand making you incapable of working with them, people flying into a frothing rage at the slightest opportunity, or those same people bragging about their great skill at commanding one unit in a RTS game. For other multiplayer games I've said that playing with friends is fun, implying that the game is less enjoyable but still playable with strangers. This is not the case here. Playing with friends is MANDATORY for having a good time while playing these games, everyone else out there will let you down or scream at you for reasons you cant really understand.

You might not understand Spanish or Russian, but you'll know smug superiority when you see it

 These games aren't going away, too many E-celebrities doing commentary on matches, and with Valve throwing their fat sacks of  cash into the ring the tournaments are going to have even bigger cash prizes. Oh yes, there are tournaments. You dont know depression until you've seen someone win over two hundred grand by pressing "R" at the right time.

"Could that be me? Dare I try?" (no, and you shouldn't)

If for some reason any of that sounds appealing to you, theres DOZENS of flavors for you to try!
Like this one, or this one, this, this one for mythological fans, or this one!

CHURROS

Got another Free-To-Play game that recently got out of beta today. A third person shooter fashioned that plays like one of those DOTA/MOBA/Action RTS games. (whatever the hell they’re calling themselves these days) It’s a bundle of glorified violence called “Super Monday Night Combat”

Kind of like the NFL, but with clones, robots, explosives, and even more ads

Before SUPER Monday Night Combat there was just regular Monday Night Combat, a game (that wasn’t free) that was faster and more twitch based, it was often compared to Team Fortress 2. Aside from the usual class based shooter game play it was also a sort of tower defense game in that defensive towers could be built and waves of robots would spawn for each team and attack the other team’s side of the map on preset paths.

The robots in game are significantly less threatening, getting killed by them is actually kind of embarrassing

The Super version of the game fits with the conservative play style of MOBA games, IE: “DON’T DIE. EVER. YOU FILTHY CASUAL.”, and generally you need to be careful, as too many screw ups on either team can snowball and turn the whole match against you. The standard level up structure of MOBA games is used in SMNC, where you have skills you can level up or you could pump points into your health and damage. Towers cant be rebuilt like in the original, so defending your own and destroying the other team’s is a big deal.

"CASUAL SCUM, GO BACK TO YOUR FACEBOOK GAMES"

The classes for SMNC, though not entirely balanced, all have their roles and are capable of holding their own. The new characters added to SMNC outshine the older classes that came over from the original game in style, if not game play. From the famous wrestler who was brought back from the dead, to the talking actor gorilla who’s dressed like a mobster, to a robot who’s trying his best to convince everyone he’s human. The game has a rotating group of characters available that anyone can try, unfortunately this leads into the important public service announcement part of this post.

They're always out for your money

HOW THEY GET YOU
Unless you buy a character, you can only play them when their available on the rotating roster. There’s actually quite a few things in this game that you need to buy if you want to get it. Products and Endorsements are ways you can customize your character through stat changes or useful effects such as getting health when you kill an opponent. Fortunately, the default products you start off with are pretty useful, and when you don’t use any Endorsements you get a decent speed boost instead. All of these can be bought with credits earned by playing the game, though you could use money for it. Cosmetic items such as new uniforms requires actual money though, but those obviously don’t effect game play. You don’t NEED to spend any actually money, everything you could want that has an impact on game play can be earned by just playing the game.

The in-game announcers are the best part about this game, not gonna lie

Super Monday Nigh Combat (SUPER!) is worth looking into if you like MOBAs or third person shooters, and it has a group match making system so you and your friends can play online against people who are WAY better than you! Not only that, but between the jokes about population control, rioting in the stands, and bad television shows, it will also help prepare you for a dystopian future where corporations run everything.

Bet you didnt think this movie was a training film at the time, did you?

You can learn more about SNMC over at http://www.uberent.com/
and you can snag the game on steam at http://store.steampowered.com/app/104700/