Hey kids you should go to a museum and quit ALL VIDEO GAMES

"Hey, where'd the jerk who posts here go? I'd have better luck getting free games by mailing a wish list to the North Pole and praying at this rate". Yeah well I'm back now, so the four people who were waiting can chill out now. In fact, today I'll give you something so amazing that you'll never feel the need to pick up another video game again, free or not. That game is BUBSY 3D: Bubsy visits the James Turrell Retrospective. Yes. That Bubsy.

IGNORE ANY MEGA-MANIACAL CACKLING

A game so masterfully crafted, so artistic, so DEEP, I dont want to spoil it for you, to let you go in like a blank canvas so you can properly experience the DEEPness yourself the way it was meant to be seen and played. Let Bubsy guide you to the promised land as the burning question of "Are video games art" is finally answered:YES
I mean, would this face lie to you?

Obviously not

So go, enjoy BUBSY 3D: BVTJTR, and let it fill a void within you that you never knew was there until this very moment. Surely this is the height of video games, past present and future, so everyone can, AND SHOULD enjoy it.

a face that screams "Hello friend, nothing strange is going to happen whatsoever"

You can play this master piece right from the web page here

Now you can be terrible, OVER THE INTERNET!

Other blogs would bitch and moan about finals, school in general, work, and Christmas stuff as to explain why there's been long gaps between updates. I won't though, because being a lazy procrastinator is embedded deep into my soul and I AINT CHANGING FOR NOBODY.

The game for you guys today is an online version of a card game you may have already heard of called Cards Against Humanity, which is a game you win by being a terrible human being. Basically the rules are that the black cards if you a sentence with a blank space, and you use the white cards to fill the gap.

It can get worse

 The most horrific combination wins, and as there's no score metric, the person judging gets to decide what wins, so don't play with boring people with "good taste" or "social sensibilities". Or do exactly that so you can horrify them.

and yet worse

The online version of the game has multiple servers up, capable of hosting a large number of games and players at once so you never need to wait for your turn to play. It's still a work in progress so there are likely more improvements and cards coming in future updates.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMAL"

If any of that sounds good to you, then you can play the game online here, or just get the card game here

In an alternate universe, do you think theres a show called "The Y-Files"?

Excuses: I dont got any, have a video game.

They're not here for our cows this time

OK SO. Earth is being invaded by a load of aliens and they're a bunch of dicks, and as the commander of the international organization that was put together to stop them you only got the weekend warrior dregs from the countries your trying to protect. Things look bad, can you still pull it off?

Not likely

The game today is YCOM: Enemy Unlikely. A parody "demake" of X-COM Enemy Unknown, a tactical turn based strategy game with basically the same "repel alien invasion" premise. Research weapons and armor to turn the tables and beat back alien abduction attempts, because if you keep screwing up out in the field the countries that pay you will just pull the plug, and where does that leave you? On a UFO with probes in uncomfortable places.

"We'd rather take our chances with the aliens, pack your stuff and get out"

Lets see the game in action.

If any of that convinced you, or you want to better learn how to defend the Earth from alien incursion, then YCOM is worth checking out. I mean, you're not a dirty alien sympathizer are you? ARE YOU?

OR SOMETHING WORSE?

You can get YCOM Enemy Unlikely here instead of the guys website because its "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" at the time of this post

YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

So there's a Might and Magic game out on Steam, you know Might and Magic, right? No, not the first person kicking game where you kick everyone and everything in the game and it may as well have been called THE KICKENING, no. One about the actual card game, so thats cool.

This isnt the right game is it?

You may be wondering how a card game can be playable on the magic box known as your computer, and over the spider's nest of pornography called the internet. Why, it easy! You dont even need to hold you cards and worry about dropping them because of your butterfingers and letting the other guy see what you got. The places on the table where the cards go are also marked so you dont need to worry about having someones OCD flare up over the exact placement of everyone's things.

Neither is this

And now we get to HOW THEY GET YOU. You can buy booster packs of cards both on Steam, and from an in game store. Sure you can earn cards by playing the game, earning achievements and the like, but that's obviously the more time consuming path to make the cash money not-free big bucks alternative that much more inciting. If you aren't turned off by blatant temptation then you should be good.

Remember that Nigerian prince?

Like card games (that aren't on motorcycles?), do you like Might and Magic in the real world and want to try it on the computer? Then Might and Magic: Duel of Champions MIGHT (and Magic) be for you.

HEH

 You can get it on Steam here

Brush your teeth

Oh man, time to check your meds at the door, because we're diving right into some weird stuff today! I've you've read through previous posts you'll know I told you about Middens by John Clowder, well today I'm here to tell you that it's got a sequel, and its just as strange and twisted as the game that came before. Get ready to slip on that straight jacket and stair at ink blot cards because today I'm going to tell you about Gingiva!

Basically where you're going

Where in Middens you played a Nomad armed with a sentient revolver, in Gingiva you play as a woman with a wind up key for a head, and things only get stranger from there. Though Gingiva gives you a far more coherent path to work with in comparison to Middens, which dumped you in the game world and told you to go nuts, that doesnt detract from the strangeness at all, especially in the party member department.

"Sup"

Gingiva is more combat focused than Middens, and there are less people to talk to, though that doesn't detract from the game that much, as the environments are still just as strange, as is the music, the attacks (such as "French Taunting") and the enemy designs. You dont need to play Middens to appreciate Gingiva, or vise versa, but I think they're both worth playing.

Maybe not at the same time

If you like weird RPGs, then Gingiva is right up your alley. If you like weird stuff in general you should be happy with what Gingiva brings to the table.

You can get Gingiva here

Office distraction time waster

Ok no.

This is my serious face

Leaving you with that rope burning game and then vanishing is just rude, so lets get some more games up in this right now. No bells and whistles today, just video games. Got two games for you today, and they can both be played from the browser.

if you play at work, don't get caught

First up is Full Screen Mario. It's Mario. On a Full Screen. Basically its the entire first Mario game right there on your browser, along with a level editor, for the extra free time stealing factor.

It even has level select!

Up next is something odd. New anime came out from Japan this year that made everyone go completely apeshit because it was so good. So good that when a fan game came out, it wasn't even awful! Long story short without spoiling the stuff the game is based on, it's all about you fighting a bunch of angry man eating giants using swords and 3-D maneuverability gear/Spiderman powers. The game is actually REALLY well made, to the point where you wonder if the guy is a part of some game studio and this was a fun side project for him.

aim for the back of the neck

You can play Full Screen Mario here and that anime fan game here

Not even the axes work

Been too long without a post. I could offer excuses BUT THERE CAN BE NO EXCUSES, so lets just get on with it. What do you think about fire? It's pretty useful, it can keep you warm, cook food, and set your enemies aflame! With that in mind, lets get to our game: It's called You Have To Burn The Rope.

 There's a boss! There's fire! There's a rope! You have axes that are worthless! YOU DO THE MATH

This is one of those weird 30 second games, so your mileage may vary with this one. For a game that's so short the guy who made it certainly put some detail into it, since it has it's own original music. YHTBTR is one kongregate and a bunch of other flash game sites. Normally I dont put flash games up but this is too silly to pass by.
Want to kill some time? Go check out YHTBTR here, and at a bunch of other places.